This contest has ended. Congrats to Matt Bernard for coming up with this answer:
“First and foremost, everyone here are idiots because the chances of encountering a mountain loin or a bear in the secluded forests surrounding Government Camp is slim to none. And slim just left the building. However, a very real concern when camping around Govy is food supply. Everyone loves a hearty All Beef Boa from Cobra Dogs or a Volcano Cone to cool the nerves on a hot summer’s day, but those things cost money. Money is something that you obviously don’t have an abundance of if you are a snowboarder camping in Govy. Without money there is no food. Lack of food and nutrition can quickly result in certain death. Luckily, you have your Drop Goggles and Mitts to easily capture prey. The mittens can be tied to a string and thrown out onto the sidewalks of Govy. The tall tee-clad skiers will quickly notice the fabric on the mittens that resembles a Jordan Shoe. Like a vampire needs blood, these skiers will use any means necessary to obtain these mittens. At this point you will slowly drag the mitten back to your campsite. The skier or skiers will follow, reluctant to notice you or the string. Once you are close enough to your campsite, you can have your accomplice put on the Drop Goggles to conceal his or her identity. Then your accomplice will swiftly grab a
hold of the bottom of the skiers tall tee from behind and stretch it over the victim’s head, quickly immobilizing him. Now that the skier is confused and flustered, you can smash the Drop Goggles under foot and use the sharp lens shards to put as many holes in the skiers body until he can’t possibly survive. Now you should have a sufficient food source for up to a few weeks if you can store the meat properly. Skier meat is full of bountiful nutrition that can keep you energized on and off the mountain.”
Drop rider Forest Bailey lives in the woods. He was bred in Vermont, but has migrated west to mountain towns where a person with the VT tolerance for the elements can survive comfortably without walls or indoor plumbing. Warm mittens and goggles do prove useful when the mercury plummets and thanks to Drop Forest’s hands and eyes never suffer. Watch Forest’s Shred to Toe from the link below and then comment telling us how Forest’s mittens and goggles could be repurposed when livin’ off the land (like protecting your eyes when you’re skinning a boar). Best answer gets the Goods: Drop Espi gogs and Boundary III mitts.
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Shipping only to US and Canada.
Contest ends: Wednesday. Nov 17th
What You Can Win
Drop ESPI Goggle
Drop Boundary III Mitt