We are officially outsourcing our “Ask A Skier” column. Nothing is off limits. Now it is your chance to ask a skier questions like what it is like to pizza when they are supposed to french fry, how the double ejection feels, and what ever happened to all the tall tees. Email your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org and check back on www.snowboarder.com to see them answered by SNOWBOARDER’s highly qualified Senior Ski Analyst (Read backwards for the titles proper acronym.)! Here are a few of our favorites from print last season to start it off!
Splitboarding is a rapidly growing area of the snowboard industry. Do you think skiing will ever catch on and invent split-skiing?
Psshhh. Skiing is the original splitboarding. We’ve had ’em split since we started, and if we split our skis any more, all we’d be left with are chopsticks for the Chinese buffet.
In ski racing, why are all the blue gates to the left and red gates to the right? Is this some kind of blue state/red state thing?
Man, this is a tough one. Everyone these days is so political about everything: Freedom fries, Presidential golf outings, Marxist ski gates, turning donkeys and elephants into political figures. Look at it this way—at the end of the day, all of those blue and red gates are going to get taken down and thrown into the same garage, along with all the orange fencing and the ad-sponsored scoreboards and the collapsible stadium seating. Skiers ski around the gates, they are there to unify the racecourse—it doesn’t matter what color they are. Hell, make them purple and green, tie-dye and polka dotted. Maybe we need to take another look at ourselves in the mirror before we screw another one into the ground and realize that—as gates—they are fundamental, and it shouldn’t matter what color they wave in the wind.
Who is more corrupt: FIFA or the FIS?
I reached out to both organizations for comments on corruption. FIFA responded with a suitcase full of cash, and two tickets to the next Champions League final, asking for no comment on the subject. Two nights in the Four Seasons, a rental Porsche 911, and my lips are shut. Thanks, FIFA. The FIS, on the other hand, didn’t respond.
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