I’ve known Chris Beresford for a handful of years now, and I think I’ve got a handle on the dude. Aside from the fact that he’s infinitely skilled on a snowboard, there’s always been something else about him. Beresford is “with it.” That is, he’s extremely level-headed, confident, and poised, yet these traits are hidden—cloaked by a Red Sox fitted, a tilted smirk, and a reserved approach. Well, Chris’s day of reckoning is finally upon him, in that we’re gonna make public just how “with it” this Masshole really is. For his On Deck, we put him in the batter’s box to field a slew of questions that all contain some sort of double entendre. It’s one part IQ test, one part informative interview, and one part total horseshit—here’s hoping that Beresford is as quick-witted off the slopes as he is quick-footed on the snow. Batter up!
–– Tom Monterosso
If your dad has diarrhea and you have diarrhea, does that mean it “runs” in the family?
If my pops cooked the meal that caused the diarrhea, then yeah, it runs in the family.
Would you consider Viagra a “hard” drug?
Yep. Well, Jesse Csincsak from The Bachelorette is up here at HCSC coaching with us, and he was telling me about the Playboy mansion adventure he went on. Put it this way—from what he had to say about Hefner, it’s definitely a hard drug.
Do you think female biker gang members ever share the same “cycle” on long trips?
Ha! Yeah, I’m 100% positive on this one. I know this crew of chicks that lived together and they shared the cycle, and it wasn’t a Harley-Davidson.
If you misspelled the word “won” on a whiteboard, would you go back and rub “won” out?
I’d have to rub the word “one” out and replace it with “won.” My friend Austen [Granger] is a horrible speller, so he’d rub at least three or four out before he got it right.
What kind of “shit” do you read on the toilet?
All sorts of shit. Normally I get the computer so I can surf-n-shit. It’s my shitty, most productive office.
This content was originally published in SNOWBOARDER’s September 2009 issue.