Harrison Gordon is a one-of-a-kind guy. He’s very talented on a snowboard with one of the coolest styles around, but beyond snowboarding, he is a very smart guy with a lot to share. On the outside, you might not be sure what he is thinking at any given moment. He earned the nickname “Unsureisson,” because he isn’t really sure of anything at any given moment when answering basic life questions, which can be frustrating at times. Mainly, when trying to make a plan with him. Even a question as easy as, “What are you up to?” can be a strung out response that leaves you with more questions rather than an answer. It’s really quite comical at times, but dig a little deeper and you will find he has a lot of knowledge to drop on you when it comes to life and snowboarding. Often times, I call him just to say hi and we end up talking for an hour about nothing and everything but it’s always highly entertaining. That’s why I wanted to do this column with Harrison. If you asked him what’s cool and what’s not on the street he might not be able to give you an answer but with time and a platform to voice his real opinions, Harrison will surprise you with some deep, meaningful, and thought-provoking conversation.
Teleportation: We should be able to do this soon, or at least be driving cars that have auto-pilot. It’s been the future for a while now.
Women: You are so beautiful to me…
Change: “The way up and the way down are one is the same. Living and dead, waking and sleeping, young and old, are the same.”
Caring/Giving a Fuck: Treat people how you would want to be treated. Even if you don’t really care, just smile and nod. You know those people who say they “Give zero fucks?” That’s bullshit. If you aren’t a teenager and you’re still putting off that vibe then you’re a dipshit.
Snowboarding: “There is only one trick….strap in.” —Nicolas Müller
Internet Jokes/Lingo: Please don’t say “Lit,” “Damn Daniel,” or “Sah’, dude” around me. I’m not old, but I’m old enough to be annoyed by all that trendy bullshit.
Televised snowboarding: It’s not the snowboarders’ fault. It’s the people behind the scenes. It makes snowboarding look bad. I love watching people ride halfpipe and slopestyle but the events made for TV just don’t make us (snowboarders) look cool.
Politics: Would you prefer a giant douche or a turd sandwich? I’m not for either, but one of them is such a giant douche that it makes a turd sandwich look kind of good…and if you don’t know what I’m saying, I’m saying that Donald is a giant douche and that Hillary is a turd sandwich.
Ego and Ego Stroking: Get over yourself. “You’re so great,” “You’re so funny,” “You’re the best.” If these are things you need to hear daily from random people on the internet or in real life I feel bad for you and your family and friends.
Traffic: Why the fuck can’t we just teleport yet? Or at least have a car that drives itself.