words: Brendan Hart
Were the Ghostbusters actually brave? Or were they simply not afraid of ghosts? This type of question washes up to the feet of anyone whose occupation is based in the heftiness of their cojones, such as professional snowboarders. It is incontestable that it takes ample ballsiness to put together a video part or win a major contest, but the true bulk of their brawn isn't easily measured. Probias provides the pet fears of the pros, which can be used as a point of reference when evaluating the gnarliness of their tricks. If we know what trivialities strike terror in their hearts, we can more accurately comprehend what type of metallic constitution it takes to do what they do for their jobs, and appreciate how far they are willing to risk their necks for their love of snowboarding. It might also feed your own morale to discover that there are areas within your comfort zone that make these masters of mettle shake in their boots.
I have a huge pet peeve, phobia, fear—whatever you want to call it, of wet, soggy paper towels. They are so nasty! One time when I had to clean up some dog throw up when I was a kid. I used paper towels and got disgusted! I hate when I spill something because then I have to go get a rag to clean it up, not just a paper towel, and everyone thinks it is so stupid haha.
I don't really have any thing too weird or unique, the thing I hate the most are sharks like a lot of other people. I guess it’s just the thought of being eaten and drowning at the same time that doesn't sound nice to me. The only weird thing I can think of is that I hate to wash wooden kitchen objects, it just feels nasty and I get next level goose bumps. I’ve never been close to a shark that’s not in an aquarium, but I have to wash wooden objects every now and then in the kitchen. And that sucks.
I have a fear of losing my teeth in my sleep, they say that means you grind your teeth! I have dreams every once in a while of my teeth disintegrating, they are nightmares. I even went to the dentist and got a mouthguard to take care of it.
I can’t stand water (or anything else for that matter) in my ears. I shampoo my hair facing the showerhead looking down instead of facing away with my head back like in movies or hair product commercials. I didn’t think this was weird, but the few people I have talked to about this believe it is. The muffled sound as a result of my ears filled up with water makes me cringe. I had swimmers ear a few times when I was younger and it really sucked. That might be where it came from, but I think its mainly because it feels like such a vulnerable area. Almost like it leads right to my brain haha. I get this weird feeling that whatever is going in is going to get stuck there. It doesn’t make much sense. I can’t do Q-tips, I can’t do warm liquids in my ear, and I definitely can’t have my head under water and look up. Sometimes I see videos of people with their face out of the water, but their ears under and it kind of freaks me out because I can’t imagine doing it myself. The few times I’ve been surfing it has really bothered me when the wave crashes against my ear. Hopefully I get over that one.
I’m scared of tents. Not sleeping in them. But setting them up.
Holding babies. I mean, what if you drop it? You can hold a puppy or kitten and get away with dropping it. Hell, those things just jump out of your arms half the time anyways. You can’t have a baby find it’s way out of your arms and call it good. A: the parents will be pissed, B: the little fella’s pissed too. C: you look like a douchebag/idiot. I’ve turned down holding a baby numerous times and to this day I’ve still only had to do it once. I’m pretty sure my heart skipped a beat. I didn’t drop the little fella, thank god, but am still just as afraid.
I really can’t think of anything, so you can skip me for this one. Sorry I’m so fearless.