SHAUN WHITE DIDN’T MAKE THE TEAM—2018-19 U.S. Snowboarding Team Announced For Non-Olympic Year

There is no “I” in team, but there is an “I” in Olympics… but there isn’t an Olympics this year so who really cares who made the U.S. Snowboard Team?

Don’t worry, Chloe Kim made the team. p: Clavin

That got us thinking. Being on the U.S. team in a non-Olympic year is like being in the ROTC or National Guard during peacetime. You might get called up, but mostly it is just putting your two weekends in a month serving your country as a formality for benefits. We aren’t exactly sure what they are going to do this off season besides a grand prix or two. So barring Trump enlisting them in a “Snow Force” to fight POWs (chill out… we mean “Protect Our Winters”), we tried thinking of some projects to keep them busy and siphon some cash from the government cheese headed up by Agent Orange up top. Editor’s Note: We were surprised to see boardercross was still a section, we didn’t think anyone would be crossing any borders for at least the next two years.

U.S. Team Chinese Downhill?

Trump would probably put a ton of money into anything involving China going down. Plus, a Chinese downhill with the whole team across all disciplines would be amazing to watch.

Host Rail Jams?

As long as they are scheduled close to our border, the U.S. Team could get some funding by telling the administration they are putting up rails and walls around the country. Boarder jams are one of the staples in the Trump campaign. Long lines up top where riders are bottlenecked to get through in one area? Sounds exactly like the border to us already. Just don’t tell him you might have to caravan down to the event.

Bigger Air

We know that Big Air is already an event that the U.S. Team participates in, but what about holding a bigger air? Like the Biggest Air ever? Quite possibly the biggest, best, American air there ever was? Maybe have a military parade and missiles going off, held on a aircraft carrier parked on that big reflecting pool near the White House.

Battleship Battles

Kind of like a rail jam, but a separate, more aggressive head-to-head comp. Trump loves military exercises, so just tell him that you will be shooting off battleships in 1-on-1 combat sliding across the country to inspire millions with power.

Notably missing and causing a plethora of conspiracy theories amongst the office is Ben Ferguson, Danny Davis, and Shaun White. What is the government doing with our best agents? Are they in a secret program and have gone dark? Is it called the AVY Seals? WILL SHAUN MAKE THE TEAM FOR 2022?

WE HAVE THREE YEARS TO FIND OUT. START THE NON-STOP COVERAGE NOW!

Jamie Anderson is also safe. p: Clavin

Full list of team below:

HALFPIPE
Pro Team
Men

-Chase Blackwell (Longmont, Colo.; Jim Smith Club; Rocky Mountain Series; 2/27/99)
-Gabe Ferguson (Bend, Ore.; Central Oregon Series; 4/16/99)
-Taylor Gold (Steamboat Springs, Colo.; Steamboat Springs Winter Sports Club; Rocky Mountain Series; 11/17/93)
-Chase Josey (Hailey, Idaho; Sun Valley Ski Education Foundation; Big Mountain West Series; 3/31/95)
-Toby Miller (Mammoth Lakes, Calif; Tahoe Select Snowboard Team; North Tahoe Series; 2/14/00)
-Jake Pates (Eagle, Colo.; Rocky Mountain Series; 7/30/98)
-Ryan Wachendorfer (Edwards, Colo.; Ski & Snowboard Club Vail; Rocky Mountain Series; 2/3/98)

Women
-Kelly Clark (Mammoth Lakes, Calif.; Mount Snow Academy, Mammoth Mountain Snowboard Team; Southern Vermont Series; 7/26/83)
-Arielle Gold (Steamboat Springs, Colo.; Steamboat Springs Winter Sports Club; Rocky Mountain Series; 5/4/96)
-Chloe Kim (Torrance, Calif.; Mammoth Mountain Snowboard Team; Unbound Series; 4/23/00)
-Maddie Mastro (Wrightwood, Calif.; Mammoth Mountain Snowboard Team; Unbound Series; 2/22/00)

Rookie Team
Men

-Jake Canter (Silverthorne, Colo.; Aspen Valley Ski & Snowboard Club; Aspen Snowmass Series; 7/19/03)
-Lucas Foster (Telluride, Colo.; Telluride Ski and Snowboard Club; Rocky Mountain Series; 9/17/99)
-Jason Wolle (Winter Park, Colo.; Jim Smith Club; Rocky Mountain Series; 11/30/99)
-Jack Coyne (Edwards, Colo.; Ski & Snowboard Club Vail; Rocky Mountain Series; 01/17/2002)

Women
-Tessa Maud (Carlsbad, Calif.; Mammoth Mountain Snowboard Team; Unbound Series; 10/10/03)
-Jade Thurgood (Salt Lake City, Utah; Park City Ski and Snowboard; Big Mountain West Series 1/27/02)

SLOPESTYLE / BIG AIR
Pro Team
Men

-Nik Baden (Steamboat Springs, Colo.; Steamboat Springs Winter Sports Club; Rocky Mountain Series; 1/13/98)
-Chris Corning (Silverthorne, Colo.; Aspen Valley Ski & Snowboard Club; Rocky Mountain Series; 9/7/99)
-Brock Crouch (Mammoth Lakes, Calif.; Mammoth Mountain Snowboard Team; Unbound Series; 8/22/99)
-Brandon Davis (Mammoth Lakes, Calif.; Mammoth Mountain Snowboard Team; Unbound Series; 8/30/95)
-Lyon Farrell (Haiku, Hawaii; Rocky Mountain Series; 11/22/98)
-Red Gerard (Silverthorne, Colo.; Rocky Mountain Series; 6/29/00)
-Judd Henkes (La Jolla, Calif.; Mammoth Mountain Snowboard Team; Unbound Series; 4/3/01)
-Chandler Hunt (Park City, Utah; Park City Ski and Snowboard; Big Mountain West Series; 11/4/98)
-Kyle Mack (West Bloomfield, Mich.; Great Lakes Snow Series; 9/6/97)
-Ryan Stassel (Anchorage, Alaska; Auburn Ski Club; Big Alaska Series; 10/23/92)

Women
-Jamie Anderson (S. Lake Tahoe, Calif.; South Tahoe Series; 9/13/90)
-Jessika Jenson (Rigby, Idaho; Big Mountain West Series; 8/7/91)
-Hailey Langland (San Clemente, Calif.; Tahoe Select Snowboard Team; North Tahoe Series; 8/2/00)
-Julia Marino (Westport, Conn.; Southern Vermont Series; 9/11/97)
-Karly Shorr (Milford, Mich.; Auburn Ski Club; Great Lakes Series; 5/18/94)

Rookie Team
Men

-Jake Canter (Evergreen, Colo.; Aspen Valley Ski & Snowboard Club; Aspen Snowmass Series; 7/19/03)
-Dusty Henricksen (Mammoth Lakes, Calif; Mammoth Mountain Snowboard Team; Unbound Series; 2/2/03)
-Sean Fitzsimons (Hood River, Ore.; Mount Bachelor Ski Education Foundation; Mt. Hood Series; 9/22/00)
-Luke Winkelmann (Blowing Rock, N.C.; Kirk's Camp; Rocky Mountain Series: 12/18/00)

Women
-Nora Healey (Plymouth, N.H.; Waterville Valley BBTS; New Hampshire Series; 6/16/98)
-Courtney Rummel (West Bend, Wisc.; Wisconsin Advanced Ski and Snowboard Program; Midwest Best Series; 11/12/03)
-Ty Schnorrbusch (Monroe Township, N.J.; Tom Anderson, Rocky Mountain Series 5/15/02)
-Jade Thurgood (Salt Lake City, Utah; Park City Ski & Snowboard; Big Mountain West Series; 1/27/02)

SNOWBOARDCROSS
A Team
Men

-Nick Baumgartner (Iron River, Mich.; Great Lakes Snow Series; 12/17/81)
-Jonathan Cheever (Saugus, Mass.; Maine Mountain Series; 4/17/85)
-Alex Deibold (Manchester, Vt.; Stratton Mountain School; Southern Vermont Series; 5/8/86)
-Mick Dierdorff (Steamboat Springs, Colo.; Steamboat Springs Winter Sports Club; Rocky Mountain Series; 4/30/91)
-Nate Holland (Sandpoint, Idaho; North Tahoe Series; 11/8/78)
-Hagen Kearney (Norwood, Colo.; International Snowboard Training Center; Rocky Mountain Series; 11/6/91)

Women
-Faye Gulini (Salt Lake City, Utah; Ski & Snowboard Club Vail; Rocky Mountain Series; 3/24/92)
-Lindsey Jacobellis (Stratton Mountain, Vt.; Stratton Mountain, School; Southern Vermont Series; 8/19/85)

B Team
Men

-Jake Vedder (Pinckney, Mich.; International Snowboard Training Center; Rocky Mountain Series; 4/16/98)

Women
-Rosie Mancari (Anchorage, Alaska; Steamboat Spring Winter Sports Club; Big Alaska Series; 1/22/94)

Development Group
Men

-Cole Johnson (Reno, Nev.; Steamboat Springs Winter Sports Club; South Tahoe Series; 9/21/93)
-Senna Leith (Vail, Colo.; International Snowboard Training Center; Rocky Mountain Series; 4/8/97)

Women
-Meghan Tierney (Edwards, Colo.; International Snowboard Training Center; Rocky Mountain Series; 1/15/97)
-Stacy Gaskill (Golden, Colo.; Winter Park Snowboard Team; Rocky Mountain Series; 5/21/00)

ALPINE
B Team

-AJ Muss (Rumson, N.J.; Rocky Mountain Series; 12/15/1994)

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